痛彻心扉。。。

凌晨四点五十分。。躺在床上的我。。睡不着。。
心里阵阵的刺痛。。“在我最后一次，闭上眼睛之前，我想对你说我爱你。。” 听着《最后一次》我终于哭了。。
忍了那么久。。心里的痛。。终于我的眼泪掉了下来。。眼泪。。把我的枕头被单。。全弄湿了。。

分手第十七天。。今天我也已经不知是第几次尝试挽回她了。。又如往常。。我还是失败了。。想争取一次见面的机会，把话说清楚的机会。。就连这个。。她也不给我任何机会。。我。。到底做错了什么？为何会遭此下场？？难道真心爱一个人，也有罪吗？我第一次爱得那么的深。。也是爱得最失败，最短。。却是最痛的一次。。
在梦里，我曾两次如愿以偿，让她重新回到我身边。。但。。为什么也只容许在梦里得尝所愿呢？为什么不是在现实呢？老天爷。。你到底在搞什么？为什么总爱跟我开玩笑。。您可知道，每当我梦醒来时，心里是有多痛的吗？肝肠寸断。。这种滋味儿。。老天爷您可曾试过？

第一次在梦里。。我清楚记得。。是在一间学校。。也不知道是为什么，在梦里，我会身处在一间样似我中学的学校。。可能。。是老天爷想让我得到这次教训，故意让我身在这个神圣的学堂。。在那楼梯口。。我抱着她哭了。。“请你不要离开我。。我真的不能没有你”我很清楚记得，那时我是这么说的。。她终于也答应了再给我一次机会，重新开始。。就这样，美梦完了，也是噩梦的开始。。醒来时，眼角还是湿湿的。。还来不及感受到幸福。。先感受到的。。是阵阵的刺痛。。我快崩溃了。。想哭。。却又哭不出来。。

第二次的梦里。。我身在一间富丽堂皇的大洋房。。后来才知道那是我哥买下来的。。虽然是在梦里。。但我也因大哥为荣。。在一个房间里。。她紧紧的抱着我。。她哭了。。哭得把我的心也哭疼了。。“答应我，永远都不要再离开我。。”当时我是这么说的。。“我答应你！我永远都不离开你。。”而她。。是用着那哭不成声的口气，在我耳边轻轻的这么回答。。多么的甜蜜。。这次。。我有了一阵幸福的感觉。。接着。。一切都消失了。。回到残酷的现实。。这次。。我心里比第一次更痛不堪言了。。有了幸福的感觉，接着再残酷的夺走它。。我终于感受到了那种，给了希望又在一秒之间消失那瞬间的痛楚。。这让我想起温岚的一首歌《地狱天使》。。“你带我上天堂，又推我下去。。” 老天爷。。您也可真惨酷啊。。回想。。这次老天爷选择了一个新居作为场地。。我想。。他要我重新开始生活吧。。。我不要！！就算在痛苦，我也要等待！等到有一天她回到我身边。。

梦也发完了。。现实终归是现实。。再怎么残酷也得面对！我不会放弃！我一定会等到她回到我身边为止。。虽然好像不可能。。但我还是决定那么做了。。很傻吧？老天爷。。对不起。。为了爱。。这次我不会听你的了。。佩佩是我心里唯一最爱的女人。。我就算逆天而行。。也不会放弃！幸福是我自己的！我不会交给老天爷，任由他摆布！！我不服！

虽然。。我的blog不会有什么人看。。但。。我还是希望。。如果有人看了这个帖子。。你们可以精神上支持我。。让我有更大的勇气，坚持下去。。

最后。。愿天下有情人终成眷属。。

Merdeka... ??? - September 3, 2009

today... i received a mms sent by dad... dun knw y... i cant view it through my phone... after download from maxis.com... this is de photo i received frm dad... "still remember this??" these r de only words tat wrote in de msg... such a touchin words even it may means nothing to other ppl...
still remember... when i was in primery school... once when dad was driving n i'm sit bside him... suddenly he shout :"Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" tat day was in end of August... it's nearly national day... in de other hand... like every year... it also nearly de ghost festival season, wat v call 盂兰盛会 in chinese... so... there will b lots of colorful flag along the street...
since tat day... v will shout "Merdeka" everytime v see those flags 2gether... this mayb looks stupid... bt... it's a little sweet story between me n dad at my childhood...
thanks dad... it's so touchin... i will remember this 4ever.... love u dad....

Broken Heart... - September 2, 2009

this is a vary special day... but... too bad cause it's not a good 1...

turn back time to September 2, 2008... it's de day tat i started my last relationship... bt nw... it's no longer celebrated cause it's end within 10 months.... i'm sorry... i knw i hurt u deeply...

2day... not a happy day but a sad sad day... dun knw y... mayb bcos of the punishment i get frm last relationship... at this same day... i break with my gf... i do not understand y... she js told me :"v r not suitable to each other..." with this words... a relationship that last for 1 month and 11 days ended with a small argument... mayb... a perfect girl should not belongs to me... i dun hv this kind of luck to have her... anyway... i hv to let go my hand... love no force... tis wat i always say... sad... hurt... down... wat to do??? de only way is face it... tat's all... no other way...

Miss Pooi Sie... hope u will found a guy tat really suitable to u... bt... an exhortation to u... there r no couple that suitable to each other 100%... but only, there r thousands of couples that enjoy their love and a happy ever after... js bcos of compromise and tolerate between each other... love start with responsibility... there is no relationship that can escape from responsibility... so if u wan to enjoy complete freedom... b single... i am not blaming at u... cause u have your own thinkin... n i hv to respect it.... thanks anyway... 4 tis 1 month and 11 days...

anyway... i will b happy soon... i wont die bcos of failure in relationship...

Kungfu Cyborg

The K-100



Wu Jing, My idol







The postal...

Special introduce to every1 about this film... vary nice, funny bt touchin movie... story about a robo-cop... a love story between a robo and a human... there are "lengcai", "lenglui", and "leng" robot as well in the film... a nice 3D effact animated... nice!!!

Jussco Ipoh - August 30, 2009

The most "lengcai" LamFung i ever meet b4... Zzzz... he is in somewhere around Jussco...OMG...

Food court... peipei is having her dinner... ^^




Kungfu Cyborg... de tickets

The first movie with my gf... Kungfu Cyborg... a vary nice, funny bt touchin movie... strongly recommend by me... watch it... ^^
once again... i drive frm Kampar toIpoh... this is de first time drive to jussco... haha.. luckily didn get lost :p
departed at time 20:00 and arrived around 21:00... planed to watch "Orphan" bt not showing... T.T so v decided to watch Kungfu Cyborg after get some opinion frm friends... ^^ thanks 4 recommended a nice film...
Takin a ticket of 23:55, while waiting, v go having our dinner at food court... walkin around jussco even all shop r closed at that time... ^^! wat a sweet time... haha...
leave jussco after movie...
this will be the most special Merdeka day... ^^

McD, Medan Gopeng - August 23, 2009

Turn back time to August 23...
This is a vary special day of mine... the vary first time in McD, Medan Gopeng with my gf... beside, this is de first time v have a date outside the kampar town...
nite time 22:00, v travel from Kampar to Ipoh by car... took an hour of time to arrive there...(sorry to say tat i'm driving quite a slow speed...)
left McD at around 1 am after enjoy our sweet time... ^^
i will remember this day... because it is important day 4 me...